Yearn For Me: A Hockey Romance (The Banks Sisters Book 2) Page 6

  I watch for a second, my chest tight.

  My two best girls. I don’t know if it gets better than this.

  “Miss Michelle!” The minute I park in the driveway and give Addi the okay, she undoes her car seat and bounces impatiently.

  I have child-lock on my doors.

  Yeah, I learned that lesson quickly too.

  “Come on, Daddy! You’re taking too long.” I roll my eyes as I open the door, plucking her from the truck and setting her on the concrete. Not two seconds pass before she’s heading full speed towards the front door.

  It pops open and Nico swings her up in the air, both of them laughing.

  “I think I’m going to be shocked for a few more weeks.” Kaija stealthily comes up beside me as I close my truck door, a big red gift bag in her hands.

  “Welcome to my world.” We walk together in silence up the driveway. Harlan must be already inside.

  “So—.”

  “You—.”

  We both stop, and I nod at her to speak first.

  “I’m still not happy with you, Dane.”

  “I know, and I understand.”

  “As much as I want to make you into a eunuch, it’s not my place to put myself in the middle. And the only reason I’m not is because you’re Harlan’s best friend. If you were just an acquaintance though…” She leans closer, reaching a hand up to put on my shoulder. “I’d put your dick and balls in a gold case and mount them on my wall.”

  The visual makes me nauseous.

  “I’m going to talk to Keyra when she gets back.” I wheeze.

  “Great. I’m so happy to hear that. I trust there’ll be a lot of groveling.”

  “Of course.” I meet Harlan’s eyes when he opens the front door, and I wonder if he can see the fear in mine because he crosses his arms.

  “We talked about this.” He raises an eyebrow at Kaija and she blinks her eyes, shrugging.

  “No idea what you mean.” She slides past him into the house and he exhales. We clasp hands and go in for a hug, patting each other on the back then separating.

  “Honestly, at least she even spoke to me when we were alone and it wasn’t about Addi.” He closes the door and I take in everyone milling around and can hear music playing from the backyard.

  I set my card down with the other gifts and talk to people we pass while I walk with Harlan to the backyard. First thing I see is Addi being the complete ham that I’ve discovered she is, and making Nico and his friends play some game that requires them making very odd animal sounds and movements.

  A barbecue in March, we’re all in long sleeves for the cooler weather.

  I clap Harlan’s dad on the back where he’s manning the grill, and he turns, smiling.

  “Dane! Good to see you.”

  “You too, Hudson.” We hug briefly.

  “Food’s in the gazebo, just grilling some more shrimp skewers and corn but let me know if you want something else.”

  “Don’t forget my—.” Harlan starts.

  “Terrible grilled Brussel sprouts, Son, I know.” Hudson screws his face up, and he’s just an older copy of Harlan really. It’s like he spit Nico and Harlan out himself.

  Good thing Michelle and Hudson are best friends or else there’d be some serious resentment issues.

  It’s a relaxed afternoon, just hanging out with the people I’ve come to call my family. I’ve kept my eye on Addi from afar, watched her have everyone in the palm of her hands and play with some of the other little kids that came.

  I’m sitting around the empty fire pit with some of the guys, talking college basketball when I hear Addi giggling and happen to look up.

  Addi’s hitched on Keyra’s hip and she’s tickling her.

  It’s been nearly a month since I’ve seen Keyra and she looks good. Happy. Her skin’s got an almost golden sheen to it. I don’t know where she was, just that she decided to go on vacation.

  Then Keyra says something and Addi points in my direction, laying her head on Keyra’s shoulder.

  Guess it’s the moment of truth.

  15

  Keyra

  There’s a little ball of dark hair barreling towards me and I don’t think they realize it.

  I scoop the kid up before she can run into my legs, and she squeals.

  She’s got vibrant green eyes and dainty lashes, dark wavy hair spilling over her shoulders. Something’s familiar about her face, but I don’t know many little kids who’d be here.

  I’ve met a few of the cousins and friends, but she isn’t one of them.

  “You were just going to run into me?” I tickle her, not able to stop myself from laughing as she giggles. Kids laughter is such a sweet, pure sound.

  “Sorry!” She grins.

  “Where’s your mom?”

  “In Minnennosota.” I smile because she adds some extra syllables. “I came with Daddy.” She lays her head on my shoulder and points across the backyard.

  Well shit.

  I meet Dane’s eyes and my surprise probably mirrors his. He’s gotten rid of the extra facial hair, leaving just a little stubble behind.

  Still built. Still tall and just naturally brooding enough to make a woman a little wary.

  It’s only been a few weeks, but it feels like I haven’t seen him in much longer. Probably spurred along by the fact that he was so insulting when we parted.

  I’d successfully made myself not think about it in St. Lucia, and it was easy because I was so far from New York.

  Now? It’s the first thing on my mind. I hadn’t even turned my phone on yet because we’d just dropped our luggage by Mickey’s place then come straight here.

  I don’t know if he’d sent something, or tried to get in touch.

  I definitely hadn’t expected to meet his daughter so soon.

  I watch him walk towards me from the corner of my eye, even though I’m pretending to be very engrossed in talking to…

  I don’t even know her name.

  “What’s your name, little miss?”

  “Addison. You can call me Addi. What’s your name?” She bops me on the nose with a finger.

  “Keyra.” Dane reaches us before I can answer, his low voice wrapping around my name.

  Shit, Keyra. You’re tight as fuck.

  I hear his words from that night flash through my mind and I go from curious to breathless in the space of seconds.

  It must show on my face because his nostrils flare, and he glances away.

  The move pulls me back to reality immediately.

  Right. We were on completely different pages.

  “Did she run into you? She does a lot of that.” He chucks her on the chin and she giggles. He has the most reverent look on his face.

  What reality have I stepped into?

  “Yeah, but it’s okay. It was very nice to meet, right Addi?”

  “Mhm.” She wiggles in my arms and I realize she wants to get down, so I let her.

  She darts away immediately.

  “She’s like a little bunny.” I cross my arms, looking at the middle of his forehead to give the illusion that I’m looking in his eyes.

  “Yeah, I definitely had to learn pretty quickly to keep her in sight as much as possible.”

  This is awkward. I feel awkward.

  “Yeah.”

  He reaches a hand out like he’s going to touch me and I step back just slightly. I know people are probably watching.

  He doesn’t heed it though. He gently grabs my arm and steers me towards the house. The only reason I don’t resist is because it would be making a scene.

  We walk past the people in the living room, past Hudson and Michelle in the kitchen, and he keeps walking.

  “Where are we going?”

  No answer. He just keeps tugging my arm firmly until he jerks open a door and pulls me inside.

  “We need to talk, and I don’t need your sisters staring me down while we do it.” He leans against the dryer, dark red henley just stretching over his chest. />
  If he were punier, my life would be way easier. Damned biceps. My downfall in the first place.

  “I wonder why they’d feel the need to do that.”

  “I fucked up. Probably worse than I ever have.”

  “Yep.” I cross my arms, leaning against the adjacent washing machine. Then I decide I feel too small compared to him, so I hop on top of it.

  There. Eye level.

  A small smirk tips his lips.

  “Is something funny to you?”

  “You needing the power position.” I didn’t expect him to answer, actually.

  “Can we get this over with?” I narrow my eyes.

  “We can leave as soon as you accept my apology.” He pushes his sleeves up and crosses his own arms.

  “The apology I’ve yet to hear? Okay, I’m waiting. Bonus points if you do it on your knees.” I challenge, and seconds tick by where we stare each other down. Before, I might’ve said the air was crackling with sexual tension - but I know better now.

  It’s just the energy of two slightly stubborn people.

  He drops one knee to the floor, the other following and I barely school my surprise. He takes my hands from where they’re resting on the edge of the washer and holds them in his, deep brown gaze the most earnest I’ve ever seen it.

  Like a hot puppy dog. Is that a thing?

  “Keyra, I am incredibly sorry for going into your home and making you the villain. I am sorry that I was callous about your feelings and didn’t think things through that night. I was hurting. And it’s no excuse, but…it is what it is. That’s the only explanation I have for…what I did.”

  “For having sex with me when you didn’t want me like I was some blow-up sex doll to take your frustration out on. Not thinking about our friendship or the ramifications of it.” I explain helpfully.

  “I never said I didn’t want you. That’s never been in question. I just shouldn’t have had anything clouded by other emotions.” Annoyance covers his face.

  “I’m pretty sure you did.”

  “And I’m pretty sure those words never crossed my lips because I’m sure as shit still attracted to you.” There’s something else in those eyes now. Something that makes me a bit more uncomfortable.

  This is not good territory to be in.

  “Whatever. The point is, you handled it very poorly and I don’t know how to trust you again.” I move away from that subject, and I can hear how sad my voice sounds.

  “I’ll make it up to you. I don’t know how, but I do value you Keyra and I don’t want you to disappear on me again and know that it was my fault.”

  “Well, the vacation wasn’t entirely your fault. It just…made me realize maybe taking a break wouldn’t be the worst thing.” I give a little because honestly, I don’t like not having contact with him.

  I don’t want to just trash everything. Yes, he had ulterior motives when he slept with me, but I was prepared to sleep with him and damn the consequences.

  It’s not like I didn’t know who he was, hadn’t watched him with other women. I have to take a part of that responsibility too.

  “You look great. Alive.” He stands, his earlier position putting him very close to being between my legs.

  “Are you saying I didn’t before?” I rub my thumbs over his hands, ignoring how intimate everything feels.

  If I just ignore it, surely it’ll go away.

  “This is a different kind of alive.” He smiles, that damn boyish charm radiating from him again. It’s amazing how quickly a smile takes him from I could maybe murder you to pet me like a big, sexy teddy bear.

  “Well, thanks. I’ll have to show you the pictures.”

  “And I have to tell you all about Addison. And explain about my family.” He pauses for a second, then kisses me on the forehead. I close my eyes and lean into it, a bittersweet feeling coming over me.

  I don’t things will ever be exactly the same.

  “I’m glad you’re back.” He whispers.

  “Me too.” I murmur, and we swing our heads to the door as it flies open, revealing Ethan.

  I have to give the kid credit, he doesn’t blink or show a smidgeon of surprise.

  “Hey, we’re about to sing happy birthday to Nic.” He’s the only one that calls Nico that, and it’s freaking adorable.

  “We’re right behind you.”

  He nods and closes the door gently behind him, leaving us alone again.

  Dane plucks me off the dryer and sets me down gently, his hands lingering a little on my hips before he removes them.

  I go ahead of him but he grabs my hand and I look back. There’s an almost nervous expression on his face.

  “So, this is good? We’re good?”

  I nod slowly, deciding then and there to just let it go. Or try to.

  “Yeah. We’re good.”

  16

  Dane

  “Blades.” Natalie comes into the living room and leans her back against the wall as she sits on the floor.

  The nickname throws me back in time, and I smile a bit, even though I’m currently rubbing my wall with alcohol and a magic eraser.

  “You’re the only person that called me that.”

  “I know, that’s why I liked it. It was just ours.” There’s a wistfulness in her voice that I don’t really know how to respond to.

  We haven’t talked about everything.

  I wanted to focus on soaking in my first weeks with Addison, not the past. With the trade possibilities, playoffs coming up…there just hasn’t been time.

  It’s definitely been the elephant in the room.

  “I didn’t mean to yell at her. I feel bad.” I put more alcohol on the rag I’m using, trying to get all the marker off. It smells terrible in here, and I’ve got the windows open.

  “Well, it was my fault. Her wall at home can be drawn on, and I should’ve made sure we talked about it.”

  “I didn’t like seeing her cry. How do people discipline their kids when they look so damned innocent?” My voice is pained. It really makes me see parents in a different way.

  I mean, I am one now. But…up until today, it’d been mostly smooth sailing. Obviously, I’ve still got a lot to learn.

  “If you don’t discipline them, they don’t stay very innocent. Addi’s tough, I don’t baby her. She was just shocked because it was her first time getting into trouble with you, but it’s not the end of her world. I explained why she got into trouble, but you two can talk tomorrow and she’ll still love you just as much.” She reaches up and takes the bottle of alcohol from me, setting it down. Pushing highlighted brown hair out of her face, she pats the empty spot next to her. “We need to talk.”

  Her cornflower blue eyes are serious, and she stares ahead for a quiet second before turning to me.

  “I know you must hate me.”

  I lean back against the wall, resting my elbows on my knees and sighing.

  “I don’t know if it’s full-blown hate, now. I am not your biggest fan, I can admit that. It’s hard to hate you as much now that I’ve seen Addi, seen you with her. I want to believe you’re not as cold-hearted as you were then, but it…I don’t know what to trust.”

  “When I…” She takes a deep breath. “When I went to get the abortion, I…I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t feel ready for anything. You knew me then, I wasn’t in a good place with myself or with my behavior. I was selfish and I just…I wanted more than I’d ever had growing up. I thought men were the way to do that.”

  “We don’t have to rehash everything.” The old feelings get stuck in the back of my throat. My anger, my sadness, how betrayed I felt. How disillusioned I’ve felt, even up to now.

  “We do. We need to clear the air so we can be the best team we can be for that little girl in there.”

  I can’t disagree with that.

  “I’m not used to you being the rational one. It’s going to take some getting used to.”

  “We’ve got at minimum 14 more years with each other
, which is plenty of time. But anyway, I was at the appointment. I was alone in the waiting room and then they said there was an emergency but they could schedule me for another hour or so. I just…never went back. You’d just been traded to New York from Toronto and I realized you’d be busy and I’d be alone. All I could think about was how we’d have to uproot if you got traded again, how I’d be away from all of my family, how much time hockey already took from you…I didn’t want any of it.”

  “You could’ve talked to me, Nat. We could’ve worked it out. I don’t know how, but every other option that wasn’t you breaking up with me and keeping my child a secret seem pretty damn good.”

  “I don’t have any excuses for you.” Her voice wavers in the face of the anger that’s seeped into mine and I rub a hand over my face.

  Crazy, I’d just said those same words to Keyra. The thought softens me a little.

  Fuck, we make mistakes. Stupid, senseless mistakes - but we make them.

  “Don’t be mad at your parents. You were starting a new chapter because of me and your mom hated me, for good reason. I was why her baby boy was leaving home. Just to get away from me.”

  “I didn’t seek out the trade just to get away from you.” I hedge.

  She looks at me with a skeptical expression.

  “I didn’t. Yeah, you slept with my coach, but it was time for me to change it up. It was good timing.”

  “If it’s any consolation, he was bad in bed.” She says it with a completely straight face before she lets a laugh slip, and before I know it, we’re laughing together.

  She reaches for my hand and lays her head on my shoulder, body still shaking a little with amusement.

  “I can’t go back in time. But I do want you to get to know the person I’ve grown into. She’s not perfect but…I hope you’ll like her.”

  We sit there, and I figure she’s probably running our entire history through her mind the same way I am.

  “Are you…dating anyone?” She breaks the silence, turning to me.

  I immediately think of Keyra. And with the thought comes a helluva lot of conflicting emotions.

  I know she said we were in a good place again, but we haven’t been talking. She’s come to a game or two, but not with us if we go do anything after or grab food before.